I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
