just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize