Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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