is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
