Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
