Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
