I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
