Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
