your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
