So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
