no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
