I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this beer tastes like vomit already
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
