I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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