We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize