redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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