hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
