This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
