please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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