I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
