Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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