it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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