just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize