Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
