I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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