Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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