she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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