i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
did you just send me my own nude
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
