Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
