I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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