So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
