She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Small penises have feelings too.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
