If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize