Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We had sex on a dog bed..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
