is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
