quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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