I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
