On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
