We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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