there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
