I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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