morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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