There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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