no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
