I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
