Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The adults are the big ones right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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