was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my shit smells like andre
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
