We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
