we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this just has baby written all over it
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
