So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize