finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
