Duck Duck Cougar?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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