Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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