Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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