I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
