if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
