does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
