when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
