So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
