I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
