Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize