11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
