whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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