Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
