And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
