There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
