new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
